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Hate To Gate…


My mate lives in the USA,
Betty is her name,
But oh my goodness golly me,
‘Gators' is her ‘game!'

She wants to bring to our wedding…
An Alligator for her to eat…!
Well oh cor blimey and sugar plumbs!
I said; ‘not at ‘our' table, only ‘on' your feet!'

She laughed and laughed and laughed some more,
While I was steaming mad!
‘You can't eat a crocodile I said!'
‘Cos that's really pretty sad!!!!'

‘Of course we eat gator meat…'
She brazenly said to me,
‘It's a speciality; I'll bring some along,'
I said; ‘no way are you having that for tea!'

‘We love it, we eat it a lot over here…'
She told me with a smile!
‘I said no way, don't you dare!'
‘Bring me a meal of crocodile!!!'

I told her if she wore her shoes,
And they were made of crocodile,
Then that's a different story,
And she could come to my wedding for a while!

But I flatly refuse, emphatically so…
No gator at our table,
Cos after all, when said and done,
I couldn't eat it, I'd never be able!

So Bet, you've got no chance,
And I really have to add,
You can't go as low as a snake's belly,
Unless you're a gator and that's as bad!

So bring your meat, at your peril,
And be sure of one fine thing,
If you dare bring gator meat…!
The slap you get will sure the hell sting!

So at our wedding table,
Sit nice and eat your 'chicken' meat!
And definitely NO escargot…!
Cos them snails aint really neat!

My, oh my you Texan buddies…
Don't you dare mess with me on this!
Cos at the end of the day, kids!
You're taking too great a risk!

You say you'll bring a gator meal,
Especially just for me to eat!
Well hark my words and knock me flat!
If you do you'll fly off your ruddy seat!

So please take this serious,
In the light of the issues here,
And keep your gator to yourself,
Cos you'll not bode well with fear!

You say it tastes like chicken,
And it feels like chicken to,
If that's the case, then have CHICKEN instead!
It's the least that you can do!

So keep you ‘delicacies' to yourself,
And behave when you're with me,
Or I swear to you, as I sit here,
Tis my wrath that you will see!
 
Love You Really!
But...NO Gator!
Yuck!









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