A Long Night's Journey Into Day

Scintillation

I am striving to believe
that somewhere in my mind
there is a silent sickness
that created you.

Formed your words
before my eyes...
made your voice
echo in my ears;
In some remote chamber
where only I can see and hear.

So... stricken by you as I am,
I sleep to purge you from my sight
then wake to spend another day
seeking out your flecks of light.

If you are, but only,
a fissure of my brain
Why does my heart lie dying
to hear you breathe my name?

(I think that if you weren't real
a part of me would disappear
and go to where the darkness played
upon my every hope and fear.)

I would be here writing this
with thoughts of lips I'd never kissed,
flesh I never knew to taste,
A soul I'd never known -- and then...

I wouldn't let you plague my night,
I wouldn't gaze upon your light,
I wouldn't find you everywhere,
I'd make you THINK I didn't care.

And you'd hate yourself
for finding me
You'd lose that yearning to be free
Our lives would go on just the same
and I alone would bear the pain...
forever...
whispering your name.


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Scintillation

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