ramblings and things

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Ballad of 14 pints

I'm on UK leave next week,
The letter from Glasby said,
See you in Brian's on Thursday,
I carried on and read.
Bill Kelly and me left early
So as not to be late.
Glasby was already there,
Waiting at the gate.
I've gone and booked a table,  
I thought we might as well eat.
I've got all my holiday savings
So it will be my special treat.
We were at Brian's just on six,
Maybe a bit too long,
The meal not till nine,
For things to go wrong.
By the time the taxi came
We were possibly worse for wear
Each having sunk fourteen pints
With wine to follow there.
We were on our best behaviour
Until just before we went.
Perfect British squaddies,
Then Glasby visited the gents.
We didn't really miss him
Chatting, forgot his little trip
But seated on the throne
He went and fell a kip.
We realised he was missing
When they came for the bill
We both suddenly wondered
If he was taken ill.
He'd just been locked in.
They woke him turning on the light.
He roundly blamed the waiter,
Inviting him outside to fight ;
But a complementary drink
Soothed his injured pride
And they very very smoothly
Eased all us three outside.
We shook hands at the guardroom,
Made plans for the next day.
Then we stood and waved
As the taxi drove Glasby away.


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Ballad of 14 pints