ramblings and things

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The man who lives in your cupboard

I'm the man who lives in your cupboard
And nobody knows I'm there
So when you glasses are missing
Or somebody's been in your chair
Or the milk's not in the fridge
Or the lid's left off the jar
Or your keys have gone missing
When you really need the car

It's me who's been a bit busy
Playing little tricks, it's just my way
Of trying to ease my boredom'
When I come out at the end of the day
Sometimes you nearly catch me
You can sense you're being seen
But by the time you turn
Too late – I've already been

And you can feel the shivers
Run up and down your spine
And your heart beats a little faster
Just the same as mine
And I vow to be more careful
And not to give you a fright
‘cos I love my life easy
Lived mostly during the night

Sometimes I miss the sunshine
But there's consolation to living in
I least I don't get sunburnt
Or cancer of the skin
I always wanted a place of my own
And your cupboard was quite near
So when you weren't looking
I quietly moved in here

And I try to be so careful
To be so tidy and neat
Never being greedy
Taking just enough to eat
Sometimes it's a little lonely
And I miss the joys of sex
But then I conjure a picture
Of my beloved ex

And all my woes jut vanish as I
Count my blessings one by one
And in such a little while
All my blues have gone
I've reached the peak of my profession
Live a life so free of care
I'm the man who lives in your cupboard
And nobody knows I'm there



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The man who lives in your cupboard