Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god

One Sad Night Before Christmas

PLUNGE
          Plunge it,
          My throat bleeds.
          Dripping angst from
          Suppressed screams.
          Pointy objects all
          Pointed at me.
          
          And me laughing,
          Maniacally.

          My pleasure in suicide.
          Where's an exit?
          Where's a kill?
          Plunge it,
          These wrists are good for nothing
          Except writing and
          Look where that's got me.

Wh-re
          Wh-re, yeah, you are.
          I've never cared much
          For your attitude.
          Sometimes I wonder if I
          Abhor you.
          
          Wh-re. You care not for
          Those around you.
          You are your only concern,
          Your only love.
          
          Wh-re. Couldn't wait to
          Rid yourself of all
          The family you ever had,
          Because we were “raised.”
          
          Wh-re. So eager to rid
          Yourself of the “mother”
          Moniker. You are a mother
          Forever.
          
          Wh-re. Even when you was
          My mom, it was like
          You were never my mom.

HATE
          As the days progress, you
          Begin to mean next to
          Nothing to me.
          I've known nothing
          Other than your hate.
          Maybe you should enjoy mine.
          How horrid that you
          F--- around though
          You deny it always.
          You anger me forever.
          
          And forever is
          A long time.
          
          But I have lived
          Longer knowing your hate.

F--- IT
          F--- you and all
          That you stand for.
          You are always telling
          My secrets to some sh!theads,
          F--- them.
          But more importantly,
          F--- you.
          You being that kind of way.
          You are one hell of a
          Person.
          So much, that I can say
          That I feel like I
          Grew up never having a
          Mother or father.

          Made me feel like a
          Lousy daughter
          Pretending to be a
          Lousy person.

KILL
          Have you ever taken a pen
          And stabbed it into your flesh?
          I won't lie,
          It don't feel good.
          
          But it feels better than
          Most things.

          Kill me.

          Where is someone with the courage?

UGLY

          Your hate is ugly.
          And you hate me.
          You can't say the words
          But you can
          Show the actions.
          
          You don't know this
          Level of lonely.

          I wrap myself up in a
          Thousand blankets
          But can still feel your cold.

          My heart is cracking once more.
          I've never had my heart crack
          This many times
          In one year…
          
          Usually by you.

          And after 30 minutes of
          Thinking of you,
          You figure I'd have more
          Of an opinion about you.

December 23, 2004
Suge


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One Sad Night Before Christmas

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