There once was a lad named Artemus Smunt
who refused to take baths, just to be blunt.
Since age three, when bath time came he ran and hid
he kicked and screamed no matter what his mom did
It took several people to hold him down
while Artie screamed fiercely "I'm gonna drown!"
His parents just gave up at age five.
They lost strength of will; they lacked the drive.
Artie's body was covered with dirt and gunk
No one could stand being near the young punk.
In school in his own special room he would meet.
The teacher taught him from at least thirty feet.
Even in winter all the windows weren't shut
to avoid the stench of foul Artemus Smunt.
To say he smelled is like saying the sky is blue.
Rotting tuna, sour milk, or old tennis shoes
would all be like a bouquet of fresh flowers
compared to Smunt who refused to take showers.
Each day his stench grew progressively worse.
He was refused treatment by the school nurse.
Neighbors sold their house and moved away.
The clothes he wore started to decay.
He was banned from most public places
Strangers looked with disgust at him every day.
He continued on with his non-bathing ways.
You might think he would end up with a terrible life
He met a wealthy heiress and made her his wife.
How could she stomach such a horrific smell?
She broke her nose when down a staircase she fell.
