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I Was Analyzing My Feelings...I sat and thought about it, Searched inside my head, For the thoughts that tumbled around, Thoughts that couldn't be said! I was analyzing my feelings, And sorting the thoughts in my mind, Because I wasn't happy, no, I was sad, And the truth I just couldn't find! So I took a step back, or three, Maybe even more than that, Looked at the picture from all angles, To find out where I was at! And as I sat and looked at the picture, I didn't like what it was that I'd see, No, I wasn't happy at all, no way, For this man, just wasn't for me! I tried to work it out, I did, But the feelings just weren't there, I really thought I could love him, But in reality, I knew it wasn't fair! I love certain things about him, As one would imagine we do, But love him, truly love him? No, that's something I couldn't do! He came into my life in a crisis time, And supported me no end, But he was never my boyfriend; He was always only ever my friend. So I decided I had to do something, When he changed the way we were, He didn't seem to want to be with me, I felt like he didn't really care. In my life a minimum 99% That's what it has to be for me, But he wasn't, he just wasn't, Thought at first, he used to be! So I decided what course of action, That I needed to take, And that was to bring about closure, For my sanity was at stake. I was on a rollercoaster, Knowing it was to come to an end, For it wasn't the love it should be, Rather, just the love of a friend... So now I have a road to take, But will it be the right one? Who knows that, only God Himself, Who through everything is done! So I gave it up to God... And let Him show me the way, Put it all in His hands, And of course, He did today. The way was to bring it to an end, And start all over again... But no more a man will be in my life, Because I just cant stand the pain! I am meant to be alone you know, And not have anyone in my life, I wasn't meant to have a boyfriend, Nor was I meant to be a wife. Because if that was the case... Then why would I be hurt so bad... And why, oh why would they make me cry, And make me so very sad? I find it so very hard just now, Because I don't know where to start, I think it's my very own fault... Because I've got too daft a heart! I would like to think I was worth it, And to have a love so true...! But how can that be - when I am me, How do I know what to do? I think I better start again, And make sure I am loved for me, Because I have no idea why! All this hurt has happened you see... This is how I feel this day, My family and friends love me, for who I am, And I guess that's all I need to know, That my life does not depend on a man... So I picked myself up and started anew, And won't settle for anything less... Than a love that's good and true, Will I get it? It's anyone's guess? It's Called; Life! And That's How I Feel... Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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