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I was standing by the bar
Enjoying a pint on my own; But you know how it goes And I was not long on my own. He said his name was Herbert Burton And he only just recently popped in For a quick pint of real ale And half a gallon of gin. I knew I should have ignored him Until he went away But they always seem to know I'll listen to what they say. I'm fully prepared for Wednesday week He said, with dignified aplomb, Have you made your plans For when they test the bomb. I must have shown some perturbation For he moved his stool quite near And on pretence of checking my tie Beerily whispered in my ear; Haven't you heard, he said, It's in the Millennium Dome And it's controlled from the Vatican There in the heart of Rome; And when they press the button We'll just hear a loud pop Then civilisation as we know it Will suddenly certainly stop. And we'll all become believers, Yes I know it sounds odd' But come next Wednesday mate You'll be on your knees to a God. They're all in it together you know Christians, Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus and Jews And every other sect no matter What their religious views So long as they worship a deity No matter what form They've all got together and agreed There aint no standard or norm It seems to be my role in life Is to be the ear of fools So I quickly finished up And slid off of my stool He shook my hand warmly Said thanks for being here And if I've got it wrong On Thursday I'll buy the beer. Vote for this poem
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