Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god
Fears and phobias, churches and bibles
I stare at the words but they, I cannot read.
All this loose translation, based upon the
Ideals of someone else, trading good ideas
For bad ones and making a bad guy when
There never needed to be one to balance
The forces of good and evil. The pages here
Are stiff and smell like an old person and
I am back in church again, a young child
Whose cousins locked her in a confessional
And taunted her with horrible images of
Jesus hanging on the cross until I begged
For some kind of mercy and cried. Then
My aunt came, and scolded us all for being
Too loud and I ran out of the church and
Promised God I would never return again.
Since then I have been there only once and
That was for my sister's wedding but, she
Divorced the guy about two years later.
The funerals around the rez aren't held in the
Church but rather in the tribal gym, where
There's more space and I am grateful for that.
I even drive a couple minutes out of my way
Just to avoid driving by the church, and I don't
Really own a bible, for an honest reason. I just
Don't want to get sepulchered into more thoughts
And memories from my past when I stayed up
For days trying to translate the bible to fit my
Needs and beliefs until one day I screamed to
No one in particular that I didn't believe in the
Traditional standards of the bible and religion.
In some ways, I guess I gave up but in another
Way, I moved away from conventional certainty.
I've been branded with the idea that if it sounds
Better in my mind, that's where it should stay.
And now I know that that's not always the case.
My fears and phobias lie with the church, as the church lies unto me.
My fears and phobias lie with the bible, as the bible lies unto me.
March 8, 2006
Suge
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Fears and phobias, churches and bibles
Fears and phobias, churches and bibles
