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Oh No!  It's The Traffic Wardens!!


Oh horror shock, they're on their beat,
Giving out tickets, with aching feet!
But oh glory be – what have they done!
They gave me a ticket, oh this aint no fun!

I'm there every day, and warn them, I do,
‘Don't give me a ticket, or I'm gunning for you!'
Then out on a limb, there it was on show!
A parking ticket – for what, I don't know!!

Oh cor blimey and sugar plumbs I shouted,
Am gona get Jerry and get them clouted!
So I phoned him, I did, and did I cry…
Said they gave me a ticket and I don't know why!

Grrrr, to the wardens, you're gona be dead meat,
Next time I catcha on your beat!
I'll run over your toes, I will you know!
With me leccy chair – what a show!

You'll be black and blue, I'm warning you!
So no more tickets, whatever you do!
There I am slogging away on ‘my' beat!
Getting a survey for Jerry, tired on me feet!

Well, me feet would be tired, if I was stood on them,
But cos I can't stand too well, am in me chair again!
Me ticket was in me window, shiny yellow!
But went unseen by that warden fellow!

Oi!  Warden, put your glasses on lad!
Cos I have to say, your eyes must be bad!
Now I'll get a petition, you can ask Jerry you know!
Cos I did it before, when the dippy was gona go!

So dear Mr Warden, gimme a break!
Cos I'm all coffuffled and me sanity's at stake!
I'm a worker for Jerry, and I do me best, I do!
But now me and me leccy chair – are gunning for you!

I've got spare glasses if you need them, just say!
Cos dear Mr Warden, you ruined me day!
Me exemption ticket is yellow!  Nice and bright!
Cor blimey the thing even glows in the night!

So next time I see you – you better read with care!
And please, wear your glasses, cos this really aint fair!

Oh, next manuscript – dare I?  

Yepper, you bet!!!

*** The Epilogue ***

...They cancelled the parking ticket...

I wonder why?  

Could it be because...

I sent this to their bosses?

Damn right it is!!!!!!!!!

Mess with the best, die like the rest!
Bet they don't ever give me a ticket again!
What do you think?






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