The seasonal changes have begun
Open the window and feel the chill
I'd do anything to take it off my mind
Air out the house, my head
Kittens bouncing off the walls
Some on a walk
some on a drive.
He dropped dirty again, my brother
If you ingest your body will not cleanse
How many times must he go
Fragments of things in mindset
I'm leaning on the basement wall
Closed myself into a little space
For preservation of hasty decisions.
I sacraficed myself sence thoes conversations
Every sunday sence that day.
I anticipated he would dissapear
one day he did as I thought.
I hoped they were wrong
I hoped she was lieing
I'm glad I remember the little things
Or I would have remained clueless
My alarm triggered
Crying pitiful into my palms
He told me to go
Reminding me of long gone discomforts
Humans need not feel trapped, I agree
I swallowed a handful and then slept
cried and slept.
I felt all this comming
Warned them of tragedy close
I was driven to stop it.
I was so scared she'd prevail
She warned me she'd try
Told me it was she he'd seek
I found maturity to cope with such infancy
I saw the pain in him
Redirected an angry force
He says he cares
but it is her he loves as well
My old love faded when I told him away
I did it out of understanding
I understand now
I can trust but I need something to hold onto
Be frank, scream at me, freak out
anyting is better than this
I need him to need me, not another.
One day he shall
Our friendship will enable it
I'm willing to give all.