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I've Been Many Things…


I've been many things throughout my life,
A sister, a daughter, a mother and wife!
And all through that life I've been dogged by pain,
Always ill and in hospital over and again!

My children never knew any difference in life,
Their years were fraught with a household of strife.
No matter how I prayed to stay well again,
The result was the hospital it was always the same.

I've lived with a guilt second to none!
Knowing my kids lives were not always fun.
I spent many times in a hospital bed,
And yes, a few times I almost ended up dead.

And though we don't chose for things to go wrong,
It doesn't matter, nor how much we are strong…
Because though strength helps us to fight the good fight,
Sometimes it's out of our hands when the pains out of sight.

Operation, operation, again and again,
It's a wonder it didn't drive my kids insane!
But all through their years I must have done something right,
Because great kids they are, with brains out of sight!

I didn't realize how badly affected they'd be,
By a mother who was in hospital so constantly.
But deep down I see it, I know that its there,
They must hate the fact that their mum wasn't there.

It's not my fault that that I have this health to bear,
But it affected others, and that isn't fair.
 Now they are adults, they stand on their own,
For they flew the nest, left the family home!

But home to roost all the time they return,
Maybe after all, health gives a lesson to learn.
For learn they did to be tolerant and true,
And as through life, it will help them through.

For they have the insight to deal with bad health,
And with that comes loving, and a life of wealth!
For wealth isn't always money, it's never what it seems,
Wealth comes in many ways…in health and in dreams.

So thought I still live with guilt and I always will,
This should help them to climb the steepest hill.
For tolerant and understanding is important in life,
It makes things much easier and a lot less strife!

So here I am once again, thinking things through,
Remembering the past and again guilt lurks too!
But I think now's the time to let it all free,
For it wasn't really – the fault of me.

It's taken a lot for me to get to this point in life,
But I really needed to let lose the strife.
And no matter what and no matter when,
I won't feel guilty – not ever again.










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