I know your too young to understand,
How hard I'm trying for you,
For all I do is scream and shout,
And ignore the things you do.
So much anger is inside me,
The sadness is still there,
I am not angry at you,
And I will always care.
No matter how much I scare you,
When I scream and shout,
It's so hard on my own,
Now that daddy's not about.
I shout so you listen to me,
I want to protect you from pain,
When you hurt it hurts me,
I want to see those smiles again.
I hate myself, because you hate me,
I'm pushing you away,
I feel I've already failed you both,
And you will relise this one day.
I want to be with you all the time,
But sometimes it gets too much,
I get too stressed, there's jobs to do..
Such as washing and tidying up.
I have to be both parents for you,
So sometimes the fun has to end,
But I still love you like a mother does,
A father and a friend.
I get jelous because you want other people,
I get angry and shout at me,
Then I feel guilty and ashamed,
Your with someone else and your happy.
But I will not stop fighting babies,
For it is you I live for,
I'll do all I can to earn those smiles,
And neither shall cry no more.