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For All The Times I've Doubted.  I'm Sorry.



For all the times I've doubted! I'm sorry!
And thought God had let me down,
And thinking that He didn't care,
As in my fear and pain I would oft drown!
I would get angry at Him,
And shout to Him at night!
Telling Him I needed His help!
And support me in my plight!

‘Are you there!' I would often shout!
‘Don't you ever listen to me?
I'm in a mess, I need Your help!
I need divine intervention for me!'
But, He never seemed to listen!
Never thought He'd hear my plea!
Because every time I asked for help!
He never gave a thought to me!

So at night in bed and sad,
I would raise my eyes again!
And ask Him for His help,
Because I am usually going insane!
I have to say though, in honesty;
That in giving me the health I have to bear,
It was so that I could write it out,
And give empathy to others, cos I care!

But my shoulders are really sagging,
This I tell you true, it's so hard for me,
Because the body's breaking down,
And no light at the tunnels end could I see!
But on the 13th of May 2005!
Something happened so very bad,
But I lived when I should have died,
And for that I'm so very glad!

So last night in bed, I was thinking,
And I realised something I hadn't before,
He WAS with me all the time!
Because he opened another door!
The door to life, not death!
And the chance of starting anew,
He gave me the strength and constitution,
And the determination so true!

So last night in my bed once again,
I raised my eyes to Heaven above,
And thanked Him most humbly,
For surrounding me with His love!
‘Thank you! My God!' I whispered,
‘For this I now know to be true,
No matter what happens in my life from now,
Good or bad, I shall forever thank You!

And no matter the trials I now face,
No matter how bad that they are,
I know with all certainty…
That from me, you are never far!'
So as I lay me down to sleep,
I smiled a little smile,
And once again, I thanked my God,
For helping me through another harsh mile!

I 'AM' here only for the grace of He!
And He alone!
Because last night I realised something!
No matter how tough we are,
No matter the strength we have...
No matter how we never give up!
It's only because...
God wants whatever the outcome is:
To be so!


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