It's happening all over again.
You don't ask when my days off are.
You don't ask when you can see me again.
You don't ask me to stop by
after work
on my way home
when i'm just in
the neighborhood.
I am always inviting myself,
making the phone call,
the first move to seduce,
the plans for what could be
if you would give me a chance.
So, you step back and watch me
make a fool out of myself.
And I thought your silence
meant it was okay, your
passive agressive dating game.
But once again,
I have loved too much,
assumed too much, tried
too damn hard.
You made that obvious
on the phone yesterday,
chattering happily about
your guys night out
because you wouldn't
get to see your friends again
for quite a while since
your son was coming to town.
And I didn't expect your answer
when I asked if that meant
I wouldn't see you in
over a month, your surprised,
"Gee, no, I'm sorry...
I guess you won't" as if
it had never occured to you.
I had been off work for two days.
You never asked.
You didn't care.
And it hurts that you weren't
planning on making me a part
of your life for the next month,
that you didn't trust me enough by now
to know I would never hurt your children,
that we could have all giggled together
at the park, movies, swimming...
that I knew your answer was
an insensitive copout,
and that Bob,
whoever the hell he is,
and his promotion at work
and your promise to drive him around
and drink Diet Pepsis so he
could get drunk with
a clear conscience
meant more to you
than making time for me.
You once apologized for
our busy schedules and
my answer was, "Where there's
a will, there's a way."
Between both of us
working full time and
you going to school,
we made the time.
Schools out, you're off work,
and it seems to me,
you've lost your will.
That hurts. Don't expect me
to be standing still
waiting for you when
you decide that you need me
once again.
I'm not your sunshine girl.
I wanted to have a place
next to you
under your umbrella too.
I am done
making the moves.
Tag, you're it...
if I still feel like playing
when you decide to find me.
Love is not a fun game
when you're playing alone.
