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 Darkness of My Soul
I know it's an impossibility for someone like me to be constantly happy and some may not agree that there is darkness in me.
How can someone with such an affliction, explain their life with a clear depiction?
First of all I'm an only son, so technically I had no one. Well I do have other siblings, but we could barely get past the everyday squabbling.
I'm 27 how & not much is different. I'm ticked at how my life's been spent and how I'm broke without a cent.
I get frequent visits from an old friend; depression & we walk hand-in-hand. Maybe from the day I was born my personality has been forlorn.
There's a thorn wedged in my side. It's taken a lot from my stride, yet I tried to let it abide, smile wide, show some pride, never hide, but D**N! How I wish I died.
There are times I can be gleeful. And most times I can be peaceful, but this all hides my tortured soul. One many things I have no control, even as a 27 yr old.
I love so much I only pray, someone would love me that way. And if so is it here to stay? Or relax for a minute then go on its way? Or is it me with my constant changes & attitudes of different ranges. Cause I can go through some stages as you'll see within these pages.
My words may not fully convey, exactly what I'm trying to say. Even when I pray these d**n words come out the wrong way.
But this is the future I've been propose, eyes close just go away, I'm in desperate need of another way, please take all this pain away. Show me the way I've gone astray, no words to say, no God to pray, still I'm facing everyday.
I've got a good heart or so I'm told, but this is the darkness of my soul.

2004 All rights reserved. This poem may not be used or duplicated in part or whole wihtout the express consent of Jak'ki "Parris" Johnson.

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