They called him Lawrence of Neasden
And he dressed in Khaki shorts
And he always rode a camel
Which he kept in his car port
Oblivious to the glances
Of the people passing by
He solemnly rode his mount
And he always wore a tie
He knew he had a mission
Was ready for the call
Though quite what it was
He'd really no idea at all
So he kept himself in condition
Led a blameless model life
Denied himself the joys
Of a family and a wife
When the human race required it
He was primed and ready to serve
You could see in his steely glance
He was a man of drive and nerve
And the people could sleep soundly
Even though they didn't really know
Come hell or high water
Lawrence was ready to go
