M's Poetry
Worse Than Hell
*this is a dream I had last night, some know the situation with my grandmother so this poem may be little more understandable for you*
I am up to my neck
with the things I have lost
push it to the back of mind
but I never forget
I thought I loved you alot
but all these people are outta my life
some to my doing, others not
sometimes it's so hard to trust
but I want to so much
been scorched until I was crying
been down on my knees so many times mentally
it's my normal place
I am in the cellar of my screaming demons
whispering in my ear to just stop breathing
I want to run, I want to hide
but the door is locked shut
so I am forced to spill my guts
it's all out....it's circling my head
taking over my thoughts
so purely engulfed is my flesh
telling me I am nothing but dead last
never will be the best
at anything, everything
failure is my first name
Finally at last the door flys open
racing to see who has locked me down for so long
I am shocked to see the face I just can't forgive
she is laughing evilly
it's my grandmother....and with her the hit man.
2005@ Copyright by Megan Bishop
I am up to my neck
with the things I have lost
push it to the back of mind
but I never forget
I thought I loved you alot
but all these people are outta my life
some to my doing, others not
sometimes it's so hard to trust
but I want to so much
been scorched until I was crying
been down on my knees so many times mentally
it's my normal place
I am in the cellar of my screaming demons
whispering in my ear to just stop breathing
I want to run, I want to hide
but the door is locked shut
so I am forced to spill my guts
it's all out....it's circling my head
taking over my thoughts
so purely engulfed is my flesh
telling me I am nothing but dead last
never will be the best
at anything, everything
failure is my first name
Finally at last the door flys open
racing to see who has locked me down for so long
I am shocked to see the face I just can't forgive
she is laughing evilly
it's my grandmother....and with her the hit man.
2005@ Copyright by Megan Bishop