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The Blind Leading The Blind!



Well, me and Kate went to Liverpool,
For a night out on the town!
What a laugh we had – we did!
We acted like a clown!
Kate met me in the car park,
To help me into the pub up the road,
But the fella's were doing road works,
And there was this tarmac stuff by the load!

I think they thought we were mental,
Well, then again, I guess they'd be right!
But do we care?  Nope, not at all!
Cos we were having fun that night!
So then, how do I tell this tale?
Well, I think its best from the start!
Cos I thought I was a gonner that night!
Oh woe is me, me poor old heart!

Now Kate had to get me into the pub,
And cross a main road or two,
The workmen looked in astonishment,
At what we had to do!
Now the thing about me and Kate is;
I'm as knackered as knackered can be!
And Kate, oh cor blimey and sugar plumbs…
Poor Kate's blind and can hardly see!

So she had to push me in my wheelchair,
And of course, I had to tell her were to go!
Cos she's as blind as a bat you see!
And told me she just didn't know!
Well, after nearly killing me,
By getting me hit by a car!
We got to the pub, oh blimey!
It's a good job it wasn't far!

Then we got inside and met the gang,
And a new fella by the name of Tom,
Sat by us, and must have thought;
‘Oh blimey, what have I done?'
Cos I have to say, I'm as mad as hell,
And Kate's as nutty as me!
And oh shucks, poor Tom, oh dear!
He was sorry he'd sat by us you see!

Then the other new fella, Chris,
He came and sat with us too!
We had a ball, we had a laugh!
Well, it's the least that we could do!
And as the night progressed,
Tom decided he didn't like his ale!
It tasted a little like, errm, wee!
And it looked awful, and rather pale!

So he said he would go and get a Guinness,
But when he came back to his chair,
He told me that he was too late,
The bar had closed, and it wasn't fair!
But he really didn't mind too much,
Well, I guess he had no choice you see!
Cos had he complained, I have to say,
He may have got a belt from me!

So then, we chatted on many subjects,
And I began to feel a bit of a fool,
Cos Kate and Chris chatted; intellect!
And me, well, I pretended to be cool!
But in truth I had no clue;
Of the stuff they chatted about!
So I told them I would chat to Tom,
He's on my wavelength and let them chat it out!

Then I said to Tom I felt awful,
Cos that made him look a fool,
But he laughed and said he didn't mind…
Being on my level, cos me poems are cool!
Then the night ended and we went to go home,
But Chris had to push me in me chair,
Cos it was dark as dark as can be,
And no way could Kate get me there!

She can only see a little bit,
Well, not that you can count that at all!
I mean to say, and the end of the day,
She will always, always fall!
But we made it and we got home,
Albeit a little late-cos you see,
I always go the wrong way…
And get lost – and I'm the one that can see!!!

We must look a sight I have to admit,
This blind woman pushing a chair,
Hearing me shout out the directions,
Shouting; ‘Kate, there's a wagon there!!!'
She only almost got me killed the once though,
So I guess that I am really blessed,
But I have to say, good job she's blind!
Cos she'd never pass her driving test!!!

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