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My River Of Pain Runs Deep.



I was going to ask Him in prayer in the dark of night,
To help me ease this pain and help my awful plight,
I told Him, I did, ‘God, the walls' against my back it seems,
And a life of no pain is in only in my dreams!
So please can you help me, just for tonight;
And ease my pain just a little, so I may sleep tonight!'
But last time I asked Him to cut me some slack,
He made me worse, now the wall's against my back!

As I lay in bed and try to settle for sleep,
I wait a while holding my breath for tiredness to creep-
But alas this is not to be, for here I am again,
Sitting at this stupid computer, typing out all me pain!
Now like I said, the last time I asked for some release,
He gave me more pain, oh woe, where is my peace?
So tonight as I lay myself down once more in my bed,
I almost conceded and asked for more help instead!

But then I remembered how busy He is…
And decided not to ask, and hope He does the biz!
And magic's all my pain away just for this one night,
Cos I have to say that no sleep makes me look a sight!
So there I was, in the dark of night and in pain,
Crying; ‘Oh dear Lord, can you help me out once again?'
Now I have to leave my home, cos things are really bad,
The pain's out of control and I'm feeling so sad.

Cos I love this flat of mine, but I'm not allowed to stay,
Cos it's a danger to me, oh woe is me this sad day.
I know things are hard for other people out there,
But just for tonight I'm selfish cos it's just for me that I care…
Its not that I ask much of Him, no, not at all,
Cos at the end of the day, He always hears my call!
But when I'm lying alone there in my bed;
The thoughts that surround me have to be said!

Cos I don't know for how long like this I can go on,
You see, I have to be honest, and wonder what can be done!
And saying that right now, I'm feeling so sad and blue,
Cos the specialist told me; ‘Cath, there's nowt we can do!'
So no hope for me, except for the Good Lord above,
Whom I truly believe in, and who I so love!
So once more I will brave it, and ask of this icon above,
To shower me tonight, with no pain, but with love!

For all that I ask in the dark of this night…
Is for one night of sleep…to help to ease my saddened plight!
Am I being selfish, not thinking of others worse off than me?
That may be so, but this very night I am crying for me.
Asking of God, once more as I pray once again,
To just cut me some slack for tonight, and ease my pain!
And hoping against hope that He won't shower me once more,
With more bad health, cos I'm nearly on the floor!

I'm only human, just like every one else, I can take so much,
But oh how I need help, oh where is my crutch?
So I will ask once more, before this night it through;
‘Oh help me Dear God, is there anything you can do?'
And I guess that there isn't cos there's no answer for me,
So here I am once more, another night that's not pain free!
I accept my life for what and how it is, for you see;
This painful road I travel; was given by He!

So I guess for now, I'll plod on once again,
And brace myself for this harsh night of pain!
I am used to it, for I'm here every day and night,
Living with a pain off the scale and so out of sight!
But I just felt the need for a little peace tonight,
Because without any sleep, I'm looking a fright!
‘So Dear God I ask you, if you are listening to me…
Is there any chance, you can ease this pain for me?'

I don't think there is, because as I'm typing this out,
I heard an almighty road, and me heart almost gave out!
‘Catherine!!' He shouted out loud, oh glory be!
I think that my God is so angry at me!
‘Now you listen here, what have I told you before?
Accept your life as I give it, and not question what for!'
‘Ok, ok!' I sighed to my God once again!
‘I'm sorry for asking you to help with this pain!

But be sure of this my God, this is the last time,
Cos I won't ask again, and lay myself on the line!
For all that I feel is that you think I'm so tough!
But my shoulders are sagging, cos I've had enough!!!
So hark at you shouting and telling me off this night!
Cos I'm feeling a little tearful, cos of this pain tonight!'
So now I am sorry that I asked Him for help again!
And after all, I know, I must drive Him insane!

So now I have typed it out and eked it out,
I'm off to bed, to cry all my pain out!

…Because my river of pain runs deep…



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