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purple broken hearts photo: Broken hearts in purple The_broken_heart.jpg

Tell me.
What do you want me to say?
I forgive you?
I do that for me.

I'll be okay?
I won't.
I can't pretend
I'm not changed now.

How am I supposed to live with myself
knowing that you made me believe that you loved me?
It felt so real…I asked you if I was dreaming.
It felt so deep…I cried when I told you;
when I sang it into your eyes.
For me, it grew more quietly profound
every day that passed.

I've lost my equilibrium…
I'd only newly regained it.

It feels as if I were standing on a ladder
reaching up to the tallest branch
with my hand touching upon
the most beautiful,  
sweetest piece of fruit…

…and you kicked…and I fell,

and I fell,

and I fell…

…all the while seeing your face,
your smiling eyes holding mine,
your voice echoing in my ears…I love you.

How does one live with the knowledge
that you've allowed someone to fool you that way?
"Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me."

I was fooled…now I am lost again...
and searching...
and waiting for you to answer me…
was it ever real, or just the illusion you created
to satisfy a brief need you sought to fill?

Tell me please.

How do you live with the knowledge
that you have taken from me that which
you cannot give yourself?

Answer me...

If you can.

K. Tate Jacoby
Copyright 11/14/05

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