Beautiful Disaster

What Next?

What should I do?
Who can I turn to?
When this pain is just to much to bare
Who will be there to say they care?
How will I know
Where to go?
I wondering aimlessly
Head down, shamefully
Trying to hold this inside
Trying to stay low and hide
Carrying unneeded burden on my back
Losing strength, that I lack
Stumbled down the path I chose
With scraped knees and stubbed toes
Calling out to anyone who passes by
Feels like no one hears my cry
People see me, I know they do
But do they really see me, or just see right through?
Am I just another body taking up space
Or am I a special case?
Will I ever get out of this mess?
Or at least reduce it to a lot less?
I will find my way!
Just maybe not today.


"You Never Knew"
You never knew
That everything you ever did
Affected me

That those dumb decisions
Were life changing
For me

Now you can live a normal life
And hang out with your friends
As if nothing ever happened

While I am stuck home alone
Afraid to fail or be rejected
Obsessing over tedious matters

It doesn't seem fair to me
That  you can come out




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