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The Looney! (Scottish dialect)

I wrote this some time ago for a bit of fun.
Eedjit-idiot, bamstick-a bit of a nutcase, scunner-someone who makes you sick of them and their jokes, nit-someone who is a bit scatty,etc. I think you might get the idea.

Eedjit, bamstick, scunner and twit,
Am no wan o' them, am jist a nit.
People  whae've kent me, aw ma days,
 Say ah'm unstable, in aw ma ways.

They dinna really ken, the person ah am,
A real great guy, and no' a bam.
Ah dae some awfy funny things,
But ah'm no a hanky, cranky ---- jings!

Dae ye ‘oanestly think, ah'm really ‘bats',
Eyes all ablaze, like a big Manx cats.
Yellin' an' screamin', an' roond the bend,
A daft wee looney, tae the very end.

Ah tell ye ya' great big scunnerin' oafs,
Ye better no' let me hear ye scoaff.
Ah'll batter yer lugs against a wa',
And yaise yer heids, tae play fitba'.

Then ah'll throw ye under a movin' train,
An' mak mincemeat, oot o' yer feeble brains.
Ah'm a real great guy, the very best
But dinnae dare pit me tae the test!

Copyright May 2005 Robert Cartwright-Davidson



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The Looney! (Scottish dialect)


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