Welcome to my seminar
All are welcome near or far
I want tell you a little about me
So please relax, sit down, help yourself to tea
The name is Matthew Bartram, but please call me Matt
But I am so much more than that
Born in London in 1974
We didn't have a lot of money but we weren't poor
31 years on, I still live in this city
But have spent many years travelling from country to country
I am just a nice, sweet and kind guy
Although very outgoing and confident I am quite shy
We all have issues don't we all
But that is no excuse to act like a fool
Parents split, lived in poverty
But we battled on because of a loving family
I earn a very good wage now serving society
But lets be honest, no one is truly free
I have been single for many years
After she left me in a flood of tears
I have been on date after date
But all seem to end in the same old fate
No I don't want to marry you after 3 weeks
There is more to me than between the sheets
You call it love I called it lust
Not a relationship cause I touched your bust
I know there is someone out there
So I don't panic or really care
I sometimes daydream about the injustice of life
About the woman across the sea who'd make an ideal wife
I tend to relax a lot online
Wishing that she'd be mine
But I am a harmless dreamer a true romantic
Not some male ego spastic
I love music and going to gigs
Love the booze but not the cigs
There is not much in my life that I regret
Not many people can say that I bet
I am the last surviving normal man
I don't pretend to be who I am
Like me or hate me I don't care
There's enough of me for all to share
Ok well I will continue this next time
I just wanted to tell you that I am fine
Thank you for coming today
And speak to me afterwards if you have anything to say
Next session is called ‘The Inner me'
Until then please read some of my poetry
