Popular girl, not.
Beautiful and self secluded.
By choice of course.
By reason of sultry spirits
within my frame of mind, laughing.
But I saw the hungry eyes and
faintly heard the sexual approval.
Accusations and supposes.
Self torments haunt my being.
Unable to relate to the natural way.
Life's lessons have given a different take.
Self motivation only appears
when Mary is able to converse.
Self renovation abandoned.
Quietness over takes.
Blank thoughts are continually in place
as new faces try to correlate.
Uncomfortable stability.
Wishing to protest this restless way.
Unable to get the secrets of them far enough to relax.
Long solitude comforts.
Quite silent, contentment.
Questions of "Why me?" expand
as the day rejected draws to an end.
Never long pondered.
Slow transformations process.
A new way of particular definitions reside
making it a little to easy
for the real me to resume hiding.
Never fighting the slavery phantoms
of lifelessness and emptiness.
Coming alive only
in the act of pleasures in manly plethoras.
Unsatisfactory savor of the hunt of mastery govern.
The clueless envisioning they were the "lucky ones".
Untameable ignorant clear beings.
Consuming my temple, locking my passion
for freedom and longing
for the quiet quick.