I'm the man who helps the man who
Moves those signs saying paint is Wet
Not a great career move really but
At the time the only job that I could get
They trained me fairly thoroughly
I've really got to give them that
And they provide all my uniform
Pinstripes black tie and bowler hat
The most rewarding part of this job
Which you can achieve if you only try
Is removing many of those signs
Before any paint is fully dry
Even better are those public benches
Where if you judge it right
You can initially place the sign
Just out of line of sight
So that your hapless victim
Feels so very like a clown
For not seeing the sign
Until after they've sat down
What a tremendous joy it really is
To stroll past in besuited disguise
And see all those irate people with
Painted back sides and rear upper thighs
Hurray for sexual equality
It doubles the laughter hoots
Now that as many women as men
Are all wearing trousered suits
But the crème de la crème jape
A unique perk of the boss
Is to slowly pause when walking by
And commiserate their loss
Of all the many jobs in my career
For I've always taken what I could get
The good the bad the utterly utterly dire
This is by far the most satisfying yet
I am the man who helps the man
Who sets those warnings out
Telling all and sundry that
There's some Wet Paint about