The Black & White Poet

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Emotionally Drained

There's this brick in my stomach
And my spirit's been beaten
I've been up since three
Thinking about fear
Thinking about this instinct inside
I want your arms around me
Locked like a bolt - unshakable
I hate the grave
And everything near it
Old love lies in shoeboxes
Unnoticed by everybody
And you, what's another word for you?
My other half…
What a painful detachment
I'd rather play with death
Than know your love doesn't exist
I'd rather sit amongst the thorns and dead morning glories
With nothing in my arms but your equal desire
I'd pray God would take my memory from me
I'd rather forget how much I feel for you
Drug me. Poison me. Then leave me.
So I may wonder in this world full of people who aren't you
People I disregard now
People that wouldn't care to gamble with me
I am certain this isn't a fear of solitude
But of fear of regret and brokenness
A fear of irreplaceable love
I am nothing but one collided with the million
But with you I was one in a million
My eyes sting
And your words right now are like
A salty, dark kiss upon a wound
Do what you have to do… but,
Slit me. Slice me. Just kill me, then leave me.

~DaYnA 2/14/06

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Emotionally Drained