He was standing with his dart gun
Trying so hard not to weep
Waiting for this pesky human
To please please just go to sleep.
Their big job was due to start
So very very soon;
The millennially scheduled
Makeover of the moon.
The universal architect had decided
Humans couldn't really stand the shock
Of seeing all that floating scaffolding
Space ships and orbiting dock.
The decision had been taken
To tranquillise the planet's air,
But somehow when it happened
This one bloke wasn't there.
He'd been scuba diving
In the Manchester ship canal,
As a result of a bet
With his oldest pal.
The expert had been brought in
And finally caught him in the rump
And there, good heavens, at last
Did he detect that body slump.
The planet was finally dormant.
Every single being fast asleep.
A dreamless dreamless period
Almost deathlike and deep.
He gave the signal to start up the job
Satellite renovation was finally underway
And thanks to his skill and intervention
They'd only lost one single day
By the time they started the planet up again,
Adjusting local time to the current when
The contractor fleet would be nowhere near,
And the natives wouldn't have the faintest idea,
They'd been sleeping for more than a year;
Victims of that brilliant benevolent deception.
Maybe only lover's whose enhanced perceptions
Brought about by the insanity of being in love
Would realise the moon there in the sky up above
Adding its sheer joy to any lover's night
Was now possibly just that little bit more bright