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The Keeper Of My Gate!!!!!!!!This is the longest piece I have ever written! It is also the nightmare of all nightmares! And you will find that it's well worth the read! Ladies; wives of husbands; Female relations; Fellas, if you have females in your family; Which you will have; Read this well! And pass the message on! Written September 12th 2004… In Respect Of Friday May 9th 2003; The Day I Almost Lost My Life! And now, without further ado; The Keeper Of My Gate! THE GATES OF HELL!!! She stood at the gates of my future, And led me straight to hell! I didn't know it at the time though! But now I do, and it's time to tell! I see you there that night you know! Stood at the side of my bed! You spoke of the impending operation, And this is what you said! ‘They will do this and that! But they won't remove that part! That's because that's far too dangerous – So this warning I have to impart!' And that's how you sent me to hell! Because you never told me why! All I knew for certain was, I needed this operation or I would die! You stood over me that day, Telling us this and that would occur, And every time I asked why it's dangerous – You wouldn't tell me! That's unfair! You stood there so condescending! And spoke to me like I was a child! Looking down your nose at me! Well that day lives with me all the while! Because you wouldn't listen to what I said! You took it upon yourself to ignore… You thought you knew the answers! As you stood at my future door!! The tunnel lay behind you! You were the keeper of my gate! You led me straight into hell! Your bombastic attitude sealed my fate! I hate what you did to me! And in those 15 months of hellfire! It was ‘your' entire fault; it's at 'your' feet! Because you left my life in the mire! Have I Got Your Attention? You bombastic cow!! That's what you are! Dictating what you thought you knew! You kept telling me it was dangerous, To do to me what they had do! I asked you over and over again… What was the danger to me? But you chose to ignore the question… For no reason I could see! Standing there so smugly! Yes you, Mrs know-it-all! You wouldn't listen to me, And that's caused me to take a fall! And now, for the rest of my life, I will walk the walk to hell! And all because of you – You caused pain and anguish, can you tell? Yes, there were more medical people, Involved in this mess - that's true! It makes no difference; it was you're job to tell, So this is all down to you!!!!! You told me it was dangerous, Over and over and over again! I asked you constantly to tell me why, But you ignored my pain! Pain that could have been averted, This shouldn't have happened to me! This is down to negligence – and yes… All down to you, as I now I see… …I see the ‘dangers' you told of, Or rather, what you didn't tell! The reason, wow, who knows? But you sent me straight to hell!!! It Gets Worse! I walk the walk I shouldn't! But those 15 months to me…! Have been lived in fear, torture and pain! A mess that shouldn't be! But a mess it is, oh, yes, And you could have prevented it - couldn't you! But the fact of the matter is you didn't – You failed to tell me true! And the ‘danger' that you told of – Or rather, didn't tell! Caused me so much anguish, That you sent me straight to hell The last 15 months of my life have been torture – Every night and day! I have hardly slept a wink, But now I need to have my say! I haven't been able to move forward… For 15 months, 15 months of hell! And why, you want to know why? Then sit nice and I will tell! Because of 18 years ago… And the unanswered questions you wouldn't tell, Has caused me 3 more operations, So, yes, my life's been hell!!! Not just operations either, But life threatening procedures too! You have no idea in playing God, Just what you put me through! And today, well, today… Has been horrifically enlightening for me… For today those questions were answered… But certainly not by she! Had she answered those questions! It would have altered my fate, But she didn't! And now, 18 years later, It is much too late! 15 months of torture, 15 months of nightmares, Yes, 15 months of hell! She caused all that, I jest you not, With the answers she wouldn't tell! Because you see, she knew the repercussions… Of what that surgery would be… But me, I didn't, did I… Because she wouldn't explain to me! Hell you sent me! Hell I arrived! I've been in hell for 15 months long! You made a mess of my life, YOU DID!!! And that was totally wrong! Have I Still Got Your Attention? Then Read On! Your attitude was one of indifference, But this I tell you true, If I could ever find you – God knows what I would do! I walk the walk of hell, Because you put me in a chair! But that's not the worst is it! And you don't even know or care! For something horrific happened to me – And I can't explain why, All I will say is this… This day of truth made me sob and cry… I shouldn't be in a wheelchair! I shouldn't have gone through hell! And all because of a stupid fool, Who refused me flatly to explain and tell!!! So thank your lucky stars lady! That I don't know your name or address! Cos be certain of one thing – I'd make your life a bloody mess!!!! I could sue you! Make you suffer, As you have me suffer so! But I am better than that – And here I am, trying to let it go! I thought it was finally over, I really thought I was through it all… But now more surgeries are impending, Yet another hellish call… This walk of hell, this nightmare I live, Of fear, torment and pain… I thought it was over, I hoped it was over, Never to repeat again! But now my walk continues on, The fear again is at my back! I can't escape it, can't run and hide; No-one is cutting me any slack! I am doomed to walk this walk of hell, Because of the keeper at my gate! Who led me onto the road I follow, Whose attitude deemed my awful fate! So ladies when asked if you want HRT, Please listen to what I tell… Don't refuse it, but grab tight hold; Don't go through the gates of hell! The path I walk is long and harsh, And full of fear, pain and strife, She led me into this hell I live; She almost lost me my life! And though just now I am floundering- In horrific pain and fear… I will never concede! I will never give in! For no matter what - I'm still here! And though, yes I am living in a sea of tears, And terrified of what is to come… I will never ease up, never lie down, I won't fail in my quest, until I have won! I want you to feel my anger! I want you to feel my pain! I want to turn the clock back! And start it over again! …But I can't can I… …Because you the keeper of my gate… …Led me straight to hell… And why is that? You ask; ladies! I Shall Tell You … …Because I Had An Early Hysterectomy… And No Hormones!!! I will live in fear!!! The End Result; Hell continues with me for the rest of my life! An exaggeration you think? Nope;FACT! I live in constant; mostly agonising pain... My bones are crumbling through osteoporosis; I have osteoarthritis; I have heart disease; Angina; Hypertryglicerides; Hypertension; Hyperlipedemia; Thyroid disease; I have cervical and lower lumbar spondylitis; Due to the diabetes; I have neuropathy, nerve damage to my right leg. Not much feeling from the hip to the knee; Retinopathy; bleeds behind the eyes into the retina. I have lost vision and will go blind; I had a total of 4 major surgeries in 18 months! There was a cancer area through all this! I am wheelchair dependant! But out of all of that list; The most horrific times; Were those first 15 months of hell; Through something that almost took my life! No HRT = A life of hell! Read that nightmare of a list! And remember, if you have an early hysterectomy; GET ON H.R.T. …Because… She sealed my fate! Don't walk my walk!!! Don't let my fate be yours! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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