Footballs is on SKY at half past three
And my fridge is totally empty
So I go down the road to get some beers
I ask my brother if he wants one and he says “cheers”
I get some Carling from the local offie'
And grab some sweets like Cadburys toffee
I tell the bloke in the shop I want a ticket for the lottery
And a dirty mag. I tell the bloke “it's not for me”
I leave with cans swinging from my plastic bag
As I step outside and perv at some s1ag
“Got the time mate?” she says to me
“Yeah it's coming up to two thirty”
She gives me a wink but I just smile
I could do with a shag as its been a while
But the footballs on soon and she's just some bird
Missing the match would be absurd
Although she has a nice ar$e and a great pair of t1ts
I think to myself as I watch the football eating crisps
