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Water, Water, Everywhere…Except In The Pool!!We were all swimming in the baths, But I didn't have a clue! Cos I had an experience; And lost my confidence as we do! Cos all I seemed to do all day, Was panic when I swim! Oh glory be, oh woe is me, I'm never gona be slim!!! I think I have paranoia, Cos this weight of mine gets me down! And I wana run a marathon! But I can't, and it makes me frown! I used to be so fit you know! When I was a little lass of ten! Cos I played footie all the time! And scored goals over and over again! I think the lads were scared me of me! Though I really don't know why! I mean to say, it aint my fault; If they tackled me and started to cry! And then when I was sweet sixteen! I was always climbing trees! And yes, I have to say it I always had dirty bloody knees! Then when I grew up and was twenty five… I would work my butt all day! Fixing up this and that in the home! And making everything all ok! I would be on the roof, oh yes! Putting the gutters to rights! Cos they would always drip, And keep me awake at nights! And I even built a fence you know! Yep, for the little old lady next door! Cos hers was all smashed up! And she couldn't take no more! And I laid a drive one day! Oh and what a shock I got! My priest walked up the drive I was doing! And I went red in the face, a lot! But when I was a young lass; I was very good in school! And always did as my teachers told me, I never broke the rule! Except when I defended the kids, They were bullied and didn't know what to do! And the lads always came to me crying, So I had to defend them true! But the ones I always had to sort - Were of course, other boys! So there I'd be in the play ground, Creating a lot of noise! And it wasn't my fault you know! Cos I have always been a quiet and shy! But when they gave me the cane for fighting, I always used to cry… But like I say, I'm really shy with people; Believe that as you may, Cos I go sick, near pass a brick, And never know what to say! I think it's because I'm mental, That gets me by a lot! Then again, I have to say, I think one day my gob will get me shot! But hey, its all good fun, It really is you know! So laugh at life like me, Tis the only way to go! Poetry Ad-Free Upgrades Vote for this poem
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