Why Was I Thrown Out?

I wrote this when someone told me about the dad they got shod of!

I've got my eyes on you!

Why was I thrown out of my lovely daughter's house?
Could you tell me why she turfed me out the door?
I tried my very best to fit into her plans!
But everything I did was always wrong!

Could you please tell me, what it is that I have done?
I'm her dad, so why does she want to rid herself of me?
I often take a shower but fail to clean the bath;
She says the bath is full of all my greying hair!

I walk down to the pub and have a couple of jars.
I need some time to clear my troubled mind!
I end up coming home somewhat slightly stoned:
I've missed my dinner, so she has another go.

I'm such a lovely chap until I've had a drink;
She said I have a dig at everyone in the room.
No matter who's her guest, I say that they are trash
and I'm superior to everyone around.

I tell her teenage lads that they are really dense,
I'm only telling them what they really ought to know!
She throws tantrums everywhere, what am I to do?
I light a ciggy up, she tells me to take it from the room.

She says I smoke too much and my drinking's very bad;
My standards do not fit her grandiose lifestyle.
That's why I have to go, she cannot entertain;
She's ashamed and doesn't want her friends to know:
(That I'm her DAD!)

Copyright May 2006 Robert Cartwright-Davidson