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Drinking Gnomes
My lawn gnomes had come to life
I heard them hiccuping outside,
They got into my moonshine, I know it
I'm going to tan their little hides.
They were tripping over the doorstep
And laughing way to loud,
Woke up the neighbors next door, they did
That made them feel big and proud.
I wanted to go back to bed
And cover my hurting ears,
But, by the time I got upstairs
They got into my fridge, filled with cold beers.
I ran down the stairs
As fast as my short legs could go,
Fell over a bearded gnome on the floor
And had a faceful of a fuzzy afro.
I grabbed them by the scruffs
Of their itty bitty necks,
Threw them outside and locked the door
I'm getting tired of trying to keep them in check.
Never again will I buy lawn gnomes
From the ogre under the bridge,
They were too loud for my liking
And cause far too much damage.
Copyright Cynthia Jones
May.1/2006
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Drinking Gnomes
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