Poetry For Everyday People
A Pen's Journey
I was fourteen, frustrated
beyond my age, angry beyond punching
a hole in the wall, shy, so shy, a
lonely kid hanging with Mozart,
culturally without comfort,
I remember feeling like crying,
but it wasn't enough, screaming
wasn't enough, suicide wasn't enough,
I was sitting on the floor of our
living room, dark blue carpet, with
scattered school books, didn't care
about any of them, I remember thinking
about running away, I was going to be
bad for my family, I was nothing like
expectations hoped, nothing like my
romance romanced,
my heroes didn't look like me, I was
at a pivotal moment, youth needing to
grow beyond sweet sixteen, dances,
kids making fun of my name,
I knew too much to be quiet, felt too much
to be locked up, I thought butterflies were
windows to heaven and had no friend I could
tell, and I sat in silence, wondering if I deserved
my torment,
I remember thinking, if I had three wishes? the first
would be to change me to be like you, the second was for
my family to live forever, the third was all the riches,
felt clever, thought out, three wishes and we're in business,
no more teachers making fun, no more long nights of worrying
about all the small stuff, the things most precious to me,
the small stuff, that people take for granted every second
of every day,
and as all this thinking began to make me feel different,
all this day dreaming, all this soul searching, was
effecting me, something here was different, I am breathing easy,
the walls aren't closing in, I feel cool, even though I
don't have those pointy shoes, I knew something no one else
did, I was a step ahead of cruelty, a world above the
world,
I had just spent seven hours writing, not knowing, just note
book after empty note book, two and half in all, I had written about
every bad moment, I had written my way home, I had found peace,
resurrected mentally, emotionally, in seven hours I found my
self, in seven hours, two and half note books,
and fourteen years of feeling
not of this earth, I had forever cured my disease, a ninety eight
pound shy towering giant.
beyond my age, angry beyond punching
a hole in the wall, shy, so shy, a
lonely kid hanging with Mozart,
culturally without comfort,
I remember feeling like crying,
but it wasn't enough, screaming
wasn't enough, suicide wasn't enough,
I was sitting on the floor of our
living room, dark blue carpet, with
scattered school books, didn't care
about any of them, I remember thinking
about running away, I was going to be
bad for my family, I was nothing like
expectations hoped, nothing like my
romance romanced,
my heroes didn't look like me, I was
at a pivotal moment, youth needing to
grow beyond sweet sixteen, dances,
kids making fun of my name,
I knew too much to be quiet, felt too much
to be locked up, I thought butterflies were
windows to heaven and had no friend I could
tell, and I sat in silence, wondering if I deserved
my torment,
I remember thinking, if I had three wishes? the first
would be to change me to be like you, the second was for
my family to live forever, the third was all the riches,
felt clever, thought out, three wishes and we're in business,
no more teachers making fun, no more long nights of worrying
about all the small stuff, the things most precious to me,
the small stuff, that people take for granted every second
of every day,
and as all this thinking began to make me feel different,
all this day dreaming, all this soul searching, was
effecting me, something here was different, I am breathing easy,
the walls aren't closing in, I feel cool, even though I
don't have those pointy shoes, I knew something no one else
did, I was a step ahead of cruelty, a world above the
world,
I had just spent seven hours writing, not knowing, just note
book after empty note book, two and half in all, I had written about
every bad moment, I had written my way home, I had found peace,
resurrected mentally, emotionally, in seven hours I found my
self, in seven hours, two and half note books,
and fourteen years of feeling
not of this earth, I had forever cured my disease, a ninety eight
pound shy towering giant.
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A Pen`s Journey
A Pen`s Journey
