You can only write what you feel and you cannot write was is not real
The more i stare at this piece of paper.
The more i am gonna pay for her.
I can't get out of this pain and stress.
When will the day of these words get to my head and distress.
I need the ink to stop dotting and write a word to make a sentence.
Why did all of this have to be for her maintainace.
What about me.
How can i live like this nervously breaking down i just can't be.
i only write today saying what i can't feel.
Can i really feel this is this real.
I don't know i need to know i wanna know, but who shall i be.
I can't be me.
I don't want to be my friend.
I don't wanna follow a trend.
I don't need to say i don't need nobody coz i do.
I can't go through.
I need somebody and all i got is never enough where shall i hide.
I can't beat the tide.
The ride is the bumpiest ride.
I can't be bothered to stride.
So i wait until my pen writes me a word so i can tell them what i feel.
How i feel to be laboured in all this pain and all these jobs my body just can't handle at once.
My brain can't rest for peace not just an ounce.
I just wanna snap, but then you'll kill me coz it accumulates so big and scary and i frighten you to death and hurt myself.
I sit and stare at my shelf trying to look for inspiration.
All i can do is drift away to a fake illusion.
Ironically nobody cares what i write to them.
I got a lesson to learn and life is hard so i gotta get used to the machine making a hem.
