Absent Minded
The maze of the mansion(please critique)
please leave a comment as i wrote this after i woke up from dream based on reality where it was like every room i had ever been in in my life one by one and it was like living in gods mansion as i saw familiar faces and detective and witnesses and people on the crime scene in my dream this is about a huge haunted mansion but i need some feedback and creative inspiration, please read it event hough its long, skim through it at least, then send some feedback(besides the fact it was long)thnx
Every room was different
throughout the seasons
as the rooms
kept on changing
from pink to yellow to orange
all the stairs different ethnic holidays
like a museum of everything that went on forever
in a maze offering me choices
and repeated messages and characters
And the people playing hide and seek
and the news of terrorists and bombs
always half eyed waiting to rub out the nightmare
trying to get along
looking for the reality of the just cause
people with imitation messages already buried in time
waiting to be uncovered
controlled manipulated
and resurrected as a voice of angst
with some meaning
and barely any strategic
rhyme
so whats the message
godsend
wheres the wisdom i dint see
i see your momentary hero
drinking his get up and go
to fuel his ego
to become the martyr of the next scenario
but i wouldn't worry about
changing the world
unless your gonna be a revolutionary
an angel with wings
a genius raised by prodigal children \
whop mentally placed himself in the arms of the kings
and learned form the paths
written from the wise
spoke to the gods of love
and were given second tries
the mansion was clean
another tangent to explore like every room of my open mind
another astral plane to build for the race of human kind
something they don't see coming
after Gabrielle's dance
sure they laugh now
but they are already in my voodoo
brainwashed nightmare
Shakespearean romantic political agenda propaganda sexual trap
the mansion went on forever
you could lock your door in fright
but when you left no matter where you went
you were always lost
as the rooms stayed the same
but your location kept changing
same house same furniture
different arrangements
all in amatter of minutes as
you climb up and down the stairs again
the flower of devious is over there
the aura of the feline births
and familiars are purring in pairs
meowing and hissing at the cat next door
in the jungle of weeds and crab grass
gettin eatin alive
and as i take the next turn
as i walk into the next room
es everything is rearranged
and everything is different
you are the dictator
and leader of who does what
and who is who
soo many rooms
it goes on forever
it never ends
like I'm lost in time
chasing after a friend whose at the fountain of youth
slipping away
fading away
to be forgotten
by her young friends
as she stays the same age
the house goes on forever
this magic mansion is the house of god
and ihave been here
since i was born and have just learned
my life lessons and have just realized where i have been living
every room I've ever been in has been a room of gods mansion
i never see the light in ever see the day
just room after room
bed after bed kitchen after kitchen
one life at a time
with lives and words of wisdom
just turn the page and read you might think
I'm another brain reading martyr
publishing disbelief
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The maze of the mansion(please critique)
The maze of the mansion(please critique)