I Want…
I want to be so slim,
But yes, it's all a dream,
So I have to have a little help,
If you see what I mean?
I wear a panty girdle,
To pull me in so tight,
I hold me breath, and suck it in,
From mornin' until night!
I have a push-up bra,
With wires all around,
But by the time the evening comes,
I'm not feelin' sound.
I have to wear high heels,
Cos I am only small,
Me legs are only little,
And I'm really not too tall.
So, with all this help,
You'd think that I'd look great?
But no one wants to take me out…
And I can't get a date.
So I dumped me bra and girdle,
And threw me shoes away,
And what a shock, I'm not that bad,
Cos I got a date today!
But me fella wore a back support,
To keep ‘his' fat bits in,
And he wore platforms on his feet,
Cos ‘I' was taller than him!
I could have lent him me bra,
Cos I'm sure the lad had a bust?
I wasn't even sure of his sex?
But a deodorant ‘sure' was a must!
After all me efforts,
Me date was really last,
So I excused meself to the ladies,
And legged it out real fast.
I wanted to be so slim,
And I tried real hard, I did,
But me heels got stuck, I fell down,
They got caught in a ruddy grid!
I wanted to be so slim,
So I could get a date,
But all's I got was heartache,
And it wasn't down to fate!
So I decided to forget it all,
It wasn't worth the strife,
Slim or fat, I don't care,
I'd rather have a hassle free life.
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