Now read and absorb this list!
Do you believe me? Cos I'll tell you true!
If my body didn't have all these complaints,
I think I'd doubt it too!
But, I have them, I live them, I walk the walk!
Should I stop the fight and let myself expire?
No way, damn it, no way!!!
More, I fight and I spiral higher!
So I got mad at her!!
Do you blame me?
Life is precious, never let it go!
Not without a fight, not easily!
__________________________________
I'm afraid I got really mad at her!
Hence this poem and tale I'll tell!!
To make her see, she doesn't want to die!
Cos I fight to stay alive in a life of hell!
In truth the only people who know all of this;
Are the doctors in my life!
For how can you list this list; as so?
And show this life, oh life of strife!
Angry! Damn right I am! At her!!
'I want to be out of here!' said she!
She said she doesn't have anything to live for!
If anyone's a reason to give up; then look to me!
Damn it!! But it makes me as mad as hell!
To hear someone talk that negative way!
Who ever said life was easy?
Not me, but I want to live this day!!!
Just because stuff happens that's hard,
Does NOT mean we give up the fight!!
Because trust me, what you read listed below;
Sure the hell gives many a doctor a fright!
Do I jest when I say that?
No, for I'll sure the hell tell you true!
Put me before a doctor I've not seen before!
And they run scared! Well, wouldn't you?
I gave her a harsh telling off, oh, I did!
Like I say, I was as mad as hell!
And that is why, I did this list;
To explain my life of hell!!
So before you say anything negative!
Like; 'you want to die and give in!'
Well look to my list, know this to be true!
And you'll see every day 'I'm' here, I win!!!
And no, she didn't know all of this!
Like I said, only I and my doctors know!
So hark at me, read what I tell!
For I let my Pandora's box on show!
And judge me not, this is not about me!
This is about letting her see how lucky I am!
And make damned sure, she never says that again!
More; she should fight the fight as I am!!!
Give up, for the sake of a glitch?
No how, no way, not me!
For I thank my God, oh yes, I do!
For every new day that I see!!!
I don't want to see her feel that way!!
So; Listed;
Epilepsy
Diabetes
Diabetic retinopathy
Bleeding behind the eyes, I will go blind
Temporary blindness off and on
Diabetic neuropathy
Nerve damage, no feeling in right leg
Angina
Heart disease
Liver damage
Kidney damage; it's failing
Hiatus hernia
2 brain tumours removed;
He left a hole in my skull
2½ inches in circumference;
No protection, just skin covering the brain!
I lose my hair periodically.
Osteoporosis everywhere; especially the spine
Osteoarthritis everywhere; especially the spine
Scoliosis
Spine is S shaped pushing to the right
One inch shorter on the right side
I hip-hop walking
Curvature of the spine
Fused spine
Crush fractures all the way down the spine
Of the Cervical spine;
The neck area (cevical) has collapsed;
It's crushing my oesophagus.
My gullet causing me to periodically choke;
No cure, inoperable and extremely dangerous!
Wheelchair dependant
(I wonder why?) :o)
Thyroid disease
Hyperlipademia
Hypertryglicerides
Hypertension
Sceptecemia twice
The good bacteria in our tum has turned against me
It's overgrowing, burning through the gut
It won't stop, it's caused a Duodenal ulcer
It won't ever heal, it continues to burn.
18 operations; all serious
I chased off the Reaper 5 times!
Auto immune deficiency;
It's failing; it's turned against me;
It can't cope with the health issues
Hard of hearing, I will go deaf
And if it wasn't for the wheelchair;
You would never know!
Self pity?
Nah, just making a point!!
Do I feel ashamed of this list?
Nope! Why should I?
God gave me this path I walk!
Mine is not to reason why!
He has His reasons;
It's all about; Do or die!!!
And ya know!
I love my life!
Strife or no strife;
It's mine!!!
I'm as happy as a pig in a sty!!
I bet I'm happier than a lot of people!
Why? Cos I take nothing for granted!
And every day I wake up in pain;
I thank God for my life!!