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My dad would be 81 years old
If he were alive today
I see my mamma in heaven
I know she's there to stay

But what of him?
I do not see
How I remember
He was incestuous with me

I was 10, a little girl
The first move was a french kiss
He was my dad and I loved him
While now his love I do not miss

Then it was a scary thing
On those cold mornings in my parents bed
My mom would be up cooking breakfast
While I was there doing what my daddy said

He touched my private parts
He tried to make me touch his too
Exciting and at once so afraid
A child who didn't know what to do

This went on for a year
He's catch me off and on
I tried to avoid him
Always attempted just to be gone

When he was home
I would find an excuse
To spend the night with a friend
I knew not that it was child abuse

Somehow I kept living
Because when you are small
You take the affection
When your daddy was the all

The one who brought the money in
The one who got his way
The one who was your mamma's friend
While with you he'd still play

It was a game to me
It never physically hurt
Thank God it wasn't worst
Just turned me to a promiscuous flirt

Now or evermore
How can I trust a man
I'd rather be their whore
As I still want to wear their wedding band

I did forgive my dad
When I grew up and gained some knowledge
He had an eighth-grade education
While I "bucked up" and went to college

He grew up on a dairy farm
His dad messed around with my dad's sisters
There were nine of them
Too ignorant to know that misters

Were not suppose to do the things
That my dad's father did too
Thank God I broke that cycle
Because I've never did what they would do

But they are the ones who didn't see
That humans are not dairy stock
Who mate with each other naturally
Like a hen with the cock of the walk

So if it made me a little crazy
You'll just have to forgive
The way I forgave my father
Because he did bring me into this world to live

And live I do
Despite this thing
Called child abuse
That leaves me to hang

On to the past
I cannot forget
It didn't last
While it's unfit

If you're a father
Please remember
Do you want your daughter
Writing a poem as this on your birthday in September?


9/7/2006 0010 cj




 






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