Absent Minded
miller
youll never know how sorry i am
maybe youllnever care to see life through my eyes
all the pains and terrreible thing si ve witnessed
the grass you though twas somuch greener on the inside
inside my head inside my head
another battle another treand
another terror
aother war
another helpless
reason to feely it more
one day i sat there
and the tears fell from my eyes
all day it never stopped
adn i didnt care
it felt good to cry
but that was fromthe addiction
eveniof part of it was guilt
i just want to ball
to heal to know
im ashamed
somehow
i know thats sick upon first readin git
but it's like it wasn't me
something controlledme that night
adni cant explain everyting properly in the fadedmemory
but i have no one to blame
i have to take the blame
was it evil
wasss it divine intervention
am i still caving into paranoia
wheni had cconversations im taking to my grave that happened with strangers
tellin gme my fate had been foreclosed
nothing was planned
something took over
and im haunted by a mystery
im scarred by the way i imagine you today
afraid and hurt and full of anger
i dont know what i would say if we sat down and talked
im busy working on shelving the things that led me to drugs
the things inever told anyone
about beatings
and psychological torture of my mother
and now you have pain too
you probably haad pain before
you probably wereliving anightmare too
andn i jsut mad eoit worse when you though tyou got away
maybe youre cursed
maybeits me
ive been dealt the grapes of wrath it seems
so i try noto feel sorry for me
but i have a reson for the darkness inside of me
the hurt the suffering the pain
i cant bottle it in forever
you cant either
what happened to you two happens to few people
and you were either there
when ilost my sanity
or when the devil maademe do it
or god decided to work in mysterious ways
immnot gonna make it to heaven you know
so do me a favor when you get there
and ask him for me
because it bugs me every day
youll never know
my level of p[ain and fear
or howm nay letter sive written to hitmen
i still think of all the nice things you did for me
and its like fate is my fate
there sno escaping it
i didnt plan it
i cant comprehend it
somedays i curse the gods for having my parents meet to produce me as an offspring
to have me as their toy
their endless confused altruistic hero of arson
dont do drugs or you ll end up worse than that guy
he got away
he only did it for alittle while
hes stillhalf sane
dont do drugs
but i cant say the truth just cry over reality and my confusion of th elogic i used to know what i did how it ende up and everything
and how sorry iam it happened to you
but if it would have been someone else im sure id be dead
im jussst a crimescene anyway
making enemies by the dozen
dont want to seemyself go further an more insane so gettin my self murdered
for all the right reasons seemslike som holy rightreou scousin of jesus
maybe thats how i pay off my karmic debt
i don think it matters
my life
never made sense
everybody else got mostly what they wanted
alli got was toement adn tortured
its hard to feel this twoedged sword of reason and say society milk it already
and no one lisstens to me
and i can never get awaaay
noooone guided by reason
so focused on your revenge
and im angry they wont hear thetruth i tell them to investigate
i give up
this world sucks its over
i hate it sometimes
before this
before this happened it was bad
but not as bad as it is to me now
it was like a bunch of scars in my brain
now they tear at me every day
asking questions demanding answers
and it drives me to the past
thinking harder
and alli want is to runaway farther
but thats nothe answer
i dont want to see the next chapter of this new age sobstory
equivalent to grapes of wrath
this mental torture not like ive been locked in a cage
but at least they got out
im stuck with my brain no freedom always wondering
why
and no answer saatisffies so i keep searching
and then i give up and stop caring think of you agaoin and realise i should cause if i dont
theres probably areason i better
my innocence was stolen when i was young
my sanity was stolen when i got a bit older
but i was still pretty young
i have my wholelife ahead of me
but im soo full of regrets
and all i think all day is how do i fix this sick world
this terrrible place thats done this to me
so none has to go through what has happened to me
but evenetually its self defeating they will ive my dreams ive created and rub their happiness in my face
as again the creatively throw the homosexaul away
hguray hurray
you win just as many bees this way
its a sick world and jesus was wrong
i dont care
youre brainwashed by a bookthat sssstrings you along
none of you are caring or loving or we wouldnt be such a horrible place to be
innocence stolen
young insanity
and nothing to live for except work eat and sleep if we can manage to pull that off without crying through the day
set up the dominos and end it already
maybe youllnever care to see life through my eyes
all the pains and terrreible thing si ve witnessed
the grass you though twas somuch greener on the inside
inside my head inside my head
another battle another treand
another terror
aother war
another helpless
reason to feely it more
one day i sat there
and the tears fell from my eyes
all day it never stopped
adn i didnt care
it felt good to cry
but that was fromthe addiction
eveniof part of it was guilt
i just want to ball
to heal to know
im ashamed
somehow
i know thats sick upon first readin git
but it's like it wasn't me
something controlledme that night
adni cant explain everyting properly in the fadedmemory
but i have no one to blame
i have to take the blame
was it evil
wasss it divine intervention
am i still caving into paranoia
wheni had cconversations im taking to my grave that happened with strangers
tellin gme my fate had been foreclosed
nothing was planned
something took over
and im haunted by a mystery
im scarred by the way i imagine you today
afraid and hurt and full of anger
i dont know what i would say if we sat down and talked
im busy working on shelving the things that led me to drugs
the things inever told anyone
about beatings
and psychological torture of my mother
and now you have pain too
you probably haad pain before
you probably wereliving anightmare too
andn i jsut mad eoit worse when you though tyou got away
maybe youre cursed
maybeits me
ive been dealt the grapes of wrath it seems
so i try noto feel sorry for me
but i have a reson for the darkness inside of me
the hurt the suffering the pain
i cant bottle it in forever
you cant either
what happened to you two happens to few people
and you were either there
when ilost my sanity
or when the devil maademe do it
or god decided to work in mysterious ways
immnot gonna make it to heaven you know
so do me a favor when you get there
and ask him for me
because it bugs me every day
youll never know
my level of p[ain and fear
or howm nay letter sive written to hitmen
i still think of all the nice things you did for me
and its like fate is my fate
there sno escaping it
i didnt plan it
i cant comprehend it
somedays i curse the gods for having my parents meet to produce me as an offspring
to have me as their toy
their endless confused altruistic hero of arson
dont do drugs or you ll end up worse than that guy
he got away
he only did it for alittle while
hes stillhalf sane
dont do drugs
but i cant say the truth just cry over reality and my confusion of th elogic i used to know what i did how it ende up and everything
and how sorry iam it happened to you
but if it would have been someone else im sure id be dead
im jussst a crimescene anyway
making enemies by the dozen
dont want to seemyself go further an more insane so gettin my self murdered
for all the right reasons seemslike som holy rightreou scousin of jesus
maybe thats how i pay off my karmic debt
i don think it matters
my life
never made sense
everybody else got mostly what they wanted
alli got was toement adn tortured
its hard to feel this twoedged sword of reason and say society milk it already
and no one lisstens to me
and i can never get awaaay
noooone guided by reason
so focused on your revenge
and im angry they wont hear thetruth i tell them to investigate
i give up
this world sucks its over
i hate it sometimes
before this
before this happened it was bad
but not as bad as it is to me now
it was like a bunch of scars in my brain
now they tear at me every day
asking questions demanding answers
and it drives me to the past
thinking harder
and alli want is to runaway farther
but thats nothe answer
i dont want to see the next chapter of this new age sobstory
equivalent to grapes of wrath
this mental torture not like ive been locked in a cage
but at least they got out
im stuck with my brain no freedom always wondering
why
and no answer saatisffies so i keep searching
and then i give up and stop caring think of you agaoin and realise i should cause if i dont
theres probably areason i better
my innocence was stolen when i was young
my sanity was stolen when i got a bit older
but i was still pretty young
i have my wholelife ahead of me
but im soo full of regrets
and all i think all day is how do i fix this sick world
this terrrible place thats done this to me
so none has to go through what has happened to me
but evenetually its self defeating they will ive my dreams ive created and rub their happiness in my face
as again the creatively throw the homosexaul away
hguray hurray
you win just as many bees this way
its a sick world and jesus was wrong
i dont care
youre brainwashed by a bookthat sssstrings you along
none of you are caring or loving or we wouldnt be such a horrible place to be
innocence stolen
young insanity
and nothing to live for except work eat and sleep if we can manage to pull that off without crying through the day
set up the dominos and end it already
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miller
miller
