Climb the highest mountain, punch the face of god

Mom

Hold me hold me,
You never did that;
Always pushed me away,
Like I was tainted.

It made my heart beat
Rapidly.
You were always shoving me,
Away, away, is it
Easier for you to pretend
I'm not here?
Easier to ignore someone
You never knew?

Is it also easy to ignore
All of my scars? Do you
Find it easy to pretend
They don't exist?

As I choke back
The lump in my throat,
Was it easy for you to
Choke back regret?

What if these slits
Were deeper, would
You have an opinion then?

You let the shame well up
In me, you let me know early on,
Early on, so early on
That I could come to you
For nothing.
In this small way, I relied
On knives and
Razorblades to make me feel better...

...rather than your scathing remarks.
They cut deeper, and deeper, and deeper still,
Than I could ever cut.

How does that make you feel?
Your daughter is a
Cutter.
There's no knife she will not use.
There's no knife she hasn't used.

How do you feel now?

September 27, 2006
Suge


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Mom

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