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Small Cat  ATHENA
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It's almost November first
Most days I wake up about ready to burst
Out with the love
From God up above

In the heavenly morning sky
Wanting my guy
To come or go
As this wishy-washy way's so-so

There's going to be Thanksgiving
Where I'll be alone living
For the affection and love of you
That's not fully coming through

Then there's Christmas coming next
Where I'll be again hexed
As the past three Christmases have been
You'll have those dinners with your kids and friend

Where I will not be invited
I'll be here butt hurt and slighted
Left for number two in your life again
I will not do that this year, lover-friend

When New Year's Eve rolls around
At your house with her is where you'll be found
As the past two years
Well, I've cried two thousand tears

For you to move on out
No matter though how much I pout
You refuse to change the pain I feel
Keep on living with her, it's real

On January first two thousand seven
You won't be living in the heaven
Of the love that we can make
It'll be her birthday and I'll ache

Hating the way it is again
That's why we have to end
Until the holidays have passed
And you see we have a love to last

You've lived with her four years possibly
While for two and half of them you've had me
For four and a half years I've lived alone
Waking up thinking 'bout this heart of stone

That's fragmented into pieces
By your affection that ceases
Every time you walk out my door
To go live where there's obviously more

Than you can get from the love of me
As I kiss you 'bye and you go on free
Well is your freedom worth that much
Way more than the loving touch

We have together on couch or bed
Way more than all my loving head
The choice is there for you to take
If we are the love you want to make

The next two months for me are difficult
Yes, to me it is the fault
That you continue to live with her
Keep going on as you were

While I dislike bursting your bubble
I'll not be plagued this year with trouble
The pain of your holidays without me there
So you have to choose for which you care

For the next two months my dear
Don't come over, don't be near
To all the fun that can be had
Or all the loving, smiling glad

Because no longer can I take it
No longer can I act "as if" and fake it
I hate you living where I am not invited
It's your choice to keep the flame lighted

The spark that keeps me wanting you
Consuming what I say and do
Filling up my life with daytime joy
While I live in the dark night, boy

So be a man of tomorrow
Why you want your woman here in sorrow
Waking up most mornings of her days
Thinking of how she can change the ways

That she's going to keep the tears from flowing
Stiff upper lip as you're going
On home there to live with another
Domestic partner, ex-girlfriend, sister, maybe mother

If anything's to change
It's only me to rearrange
Because I cannot change you
No matter what I seem to do

So I will stop the way you want
That you live with her, while me you haunt
Send this poem you'll received on Halloween
It's trick or treat for me not mean

While maybe mean to you
So work it through
Until you live where I have the keys
Where my love is what you want to fully please

Then for me it will be better
Living for us not like this letter
Where for two months you're not invited
Then maybe you'll get a dose of how I'm slighted

From the major parts of your life
Where you prove to me I'm too much strife
To fully be committed to
As living with her is not true

To the friendly lovers in both of us
It tears up all the trust
That you can build in me all weekend
Then on Monday it does end

As you sleep in your bed there
As you listen to her snore in your chair
As you eat with her, clean up the mess
As she is who you live with, not a guest

Maybe in January these things will be mine
After two months without the divine
Heights of how our love can be
When you don't live with another she

So take these months my friend
I'll suffer too until the end
I will stay faithful and be true
To the love I have for you

Then next year your actions will show
If you have a home where I can go
By yourself or here with me
As your choice is the reality

If we go on
Living out the heartunes song
That plays on for you deep in my soul
The tunes for you on they roll

So take your pick
Marie or Candy who's not sick
Over where her man goes at night
You have two months to let us be alright

Then if your choice is that it's wrong
I'll give up this justice song
To let you go and I will live
Without the love I had to give

To just one man
Who has the plan
To stay in my arms through eternity
If you're not him, I'll set you free.

10/30/2006 0955 cj

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