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I'd do almost anything for you
Like be a sister, mother, friend
I can see you don't want me to
You never asked for anything to begin

You never asked for my poetry
But I send it anyway
You never asked for me to care for you
But when you're here, the feeling doesn't go away

And when you're gone, like now
The feeling slumbers in my heart
Your house is there, your kitchen light's on
My light shines for you together or apart

When did my feeling change for you
When did I want more than you can give
When did I see you as so dear
When did I make you another reason to live

Could it be I'm crazy, nuts, or maybe insane
Could it be I'm just a woman
Growing old and tired
Feeling too much pain

I ask myself these questions:
Why I care so much for you
Why I do the things I do
Why I am a person sometimes blue
Why I can't get through

Can't get through God's golden gate
Can't always love and at times hate
Can't always be real
Because fantasy's part of my fate

When I want to talk to you
I am too afraid
Afraid to look into your eyes
Afraid of what I've made

Afraid I've make a good man closed
Closed to me---too much for his quiet life
Too questioning, seeking, caring, too much
Too much, when I'm another's wife

I mow your lawn
You leave a light on
I send you my poetry
You just let it be

Let it be my thoughts of you
Let it be that I'd do almost anything for you
Let it be I feel too much
Let it be I'm out of touch

Out of touch with reality
Living in this fantasy
Makes my world easier to comprehend
Keeps my soul from wanting it to end

Wanting it to end
Is not a thing to do
I have all these people depending on me
And I have thoughts of you

Could this be my last rhyme
Would you be relieved if I quit writing to you
I want you to be comfortable
I want to be comfortable too

You're so lucky that you're single
No family to depend on you
But it must be lonely sometimes
Maybe that's why my feelings changed it's true

My feelings change for those in need
For those who need my care
You've facilitated me to be sweet on Candy
With her to learn to share

What I forget to do for many years
To write, to bike, to breathe, to be fair
To be fair with Candy Jean
To give her love that can be seen

The world you are not afraid of
Confident enough to live alone
Able to take care of your life
From what I've seen you've shown

You don't really need me
As much as I need knowing you're just there
That is enough to give me
It is really so very much to share.

6/1994 cj

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