Tears in my head, tears in my heart…
This pain is so bad that it tears me apart!
My heart is broken, and sore just now,
I need to keep fighting but don't know how!
It gets harder and harder, this is so true;
It cuts like a knife; I don't know what to do!
I tell my head to listen, and tell my heart to behave…
But the pain that I bear, is oh, so grave!
I look to my left; I look to my right,
But this pain of mine is so out of sight!
I move an inch, it pains me so,
I can't get any ease, it just won't go!
I sternly tell myself that it is all okay,
But how, dear God, do I get through this day?
Cos I have to tell it, and tell it true;
This pain of mine would be no good for you!
I have taken it all, all of my life;
And all I have lived is a sorrowful strife!
And oh woe is me, I can but try;
To stay focused, but at times, yes I cry!
But the pains so bad, tears will hurt me to cry…
I raise my eyes to the Heavens, and ask of God; ‘Why?'
But there is no answer, there is no reply,
So I feel sad inside, and inside I cry…
‘Why am I like this; Lord?' I whisper in the night;
‘Why burden me with pain so out of sight?
What did I do wrong in my life so bad?
That you give me a life that's so very bad?
Was it something I've done? Tell me please!
Because this pain of mine brings me to my knees!'
But I hear no voice in the night from above,
Has He forsaken me, left me without His love?
I wonder at times if I am wicked and sly!
Maybe that's why, at night that I cry!
Maybe He's punishing me for my way?
‘What did I do so bad; God?' I ask as I pray!
But this night there's silence…nothing to be heard;
Is this the way it is, from this God that cared?
For if He cared, I think He doesn't any more;
If He did why isn't He helping me through this door!
And ease my pain, and bask in His glow…
Well I have no answer-I just don't know!
But if He helped me through this pain so out of sight,
And ease it a little, and help me through this night!
Then I would be most thankful, for one night of no pain!
But it won't happen; it's another sleepless one again!
I wonder what it's like, to be pain free!
For just one day or night, just to see…
See what it's like to be in bliss for a while;
And be able to truly give a true smile!
And not have to pretend that all is well…
When really I'm battling through a life of hell!
But I guess He has His reasons, but I can't see…
Just what it is and why, He punishes me…
For it must be a punishment, what else is there?
What reason at all; cos I don't think it's fair!
But I guess I'll get through it, as only I can do!
And stay focused and calm, and loyal and true!
For if this is a test to see if I turn away…
I have to say it; He'll wait many a day…