It's been asked of me often why I have cried;
And why I have written out all of my pain.
Well bear with me a while, cos it will take a while!
And shall try through my written words to explain!
You will read of my life, and my pain,
Things that have caused me such hurt.
And though I will try, I have to say;
I must be careful of all I blurt.
You see, words can hurt many people,
And words can cause so much pain;
So like I said, please be patient;
While I try through my poetry to explain!
I have walked many a harsh mile, so have many!
But I guess the trials of my life test me true;
The reason, well I don't have any idea…
If you asked me to guess, I'd still have no clue.
Things happen in life for a reason,
And I am not one to reason why,
I accept and try to understand a little,
As to why my life and body causes me to cry.
It's easier to tell you what's not wrong with me,
For trust me, and trust me true!
Had I not all of these problems…
Then I sure the hell would doubt it too!
I am riddled with arthritis and osteoporosis,
Well, it's easier to say my skeletal is wrecked,
And trust me, I'm a poet and I don't lie!
And anyway, I've had it checked!
Every organ is damaged and battered,
Even down to the slightest thing you can know.
Like arteries, veins, blood and stuff,
Like I say, everything's taken a blow.
And all through my life, from 15 years old;
Ill health has wreaked its havoc on me!
And after 2 brain tumours;18 operations, all major;
The light at the tunnels end I hope to see.
For the medical people in this life of mine;
Tell me all the time that I should be dead,
How this body survives, I like to think,
Is because I'm strong in my heart and head!
So my life is one of much pain…
Twenty four seven…oh yes, that's right!
So you may have an idea why it is;
That I very rare sleep sound at night!
So adulthood, well, that wasn't too good either
And my marriage you can safely say;
Ended after 27 years…in a blink,
I altered my life for the good that day!
And the hurt of the heart that almost crushed me;
When the love I gave was thrown away,
Another man who was allergic to bad health,
I guess you can surmise that he also ran one day!
You see, it's a little like this and a lot like that,
Some people have an allergy to some things!
Like wheelchairs and people who are disabled,
And the upset in the household it brings.
I fight the fight every minute of the day,
And every day I get stronger and more!
For I am as determined as God made me true,
And I am not ready to go through God's door!
You see, just because the body's a mess,
Doesn't mean that we have to give in!
For I will never concede, oh no I wont!
Because I'm always determined to win!
And for every single day that I awake;
That's yet another day that I have won!
And I will stay as focused as God made me true!
Until my time on earth is finally done!
But God has a special job for me to do,
And that's to empathise through all I walk;
I have two broad shoulders for people to use,
And two ears to listen with when they need to talk.
So of course God gave me this battered body,
Then gave me this wonderful gift of caring,
And the special gift of words that I use;
And to use them well because they're for sharing.
So for every person that will empathise;
With the words which flow from my soul and heart;
Then I am doing the job that God gave me true…
And the strength He gave me was a very good start!
So there you have it, the reason for my tears,
At the times I find it hard to get through the day,
And of course, the reason for my strength!
But mostly, for the words He brought my way!
But on a happier note I have love in my life;
From a man who is all that and more!
Who I believe God sent my way for a reason;
So that I wouldn't have a broken heart any more!
For the love of this man is outstanding,
And he cares for me more than his life!
And I love him so totally and so I can say;
I'll say yes! When he asks me to make me his wife.
We love each other so unconditionally so!
And he has no problems with the ill health I bear;
And it's a rocky ride; more than you could know!
But he tells me; ‘nothing matters except you're here!
For you are my life; my life is nothing without you!
You are as special as special can be…
I am here to love you and care for you forever;
And I can't wait for the day you marry me!'
And this marriage will be as it should,
Forever and ever, and evermore!
It will never break down, never end;
Until together we walk through that golden door!
What God has brought together in us both!
Will never be taken asunder and we'll never part!
For the vow we take, will never break!
This is a true unison of each of our heart!
For the vow we take; ‘in sickness and in health'
Will be paramount in our life, but more his life;
For I have many illnesses and they are not good,
Yet he still wants to make me his wife.
I never knew the strength of love until now;
And oh how wonderful a feeling it is too!
For he is my life, I would lay down my life;
Just as I know that it's something he'd also do!
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