Have I, have I turned away this night?
I am wondering about that just now!
Cos I am feeling so very sad and alone;
And I don't know what to do, or how!!
I seem to have an allergic reaction;
To a healthy life that I wanted so bad;
Cos every time I seem to improve;
Something else falls apart, just a tad!!
My head is a mess, don't know what to think,
Don't know how to get through this night,
All I know is; there is no-one there;
To help me and ease my plight!
But you know what I think it is?
I think He doesn't like me to ask for support!
So I am thinking now, what's next?
Well that's just a stupid thought!!!
Nothing I say or ask of Him;
Seems to really get through!
And now here I am, a wondering;
Just what the hell I am supposed to do!!!
Cos I'm dammed if I do, dammed if I don't,
Dammed every God given day!
Why does He do this to me, why?
Cos I'm saying it is not okay!!!
I don't know where to put myself,
I am beside myself with such pain!
I can't get ease, can't get through the night;
Because I think by then I will be insane!!
Am I joking you ask yourself?
Nah, I'm telling it as it is for me!
Have I turned away from this God of mine?
Has He tested me to the limit, has He?
Because I am drowning in a sea so vast;
And I am sailing away with the tide;
I am flowing on the raging river;
Just like the tears that I've cried!
I cry in pain, I cry in fear;
I cry in the torment I am in!
I cry for the health that I want so bad!
I cry, I cry, I cry; what is my sin!!!!!
So have I turned away from Him?
Or am I just glitching in the night?
Have I had enough to turn me away?
Or do I accept every God given plight?
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