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User guides are perfect
for pulling out your hair,
bashing your head against a wall,
or throwing them in the air.

They exasperate, aggravate,
then infuriate us all.
"What are these instructions?
Better give them a quick call."

Half an hour evaporates,
we've got to Figure three.
There are twenty figures yet to go;
Oh boy it's costing me!

I've assembled, disassembled
and I've started once again.
The hours are mounting on my phone
by now it's nearly ten.

At last I'm almost finished,
Certain parts I cannot find!
A voice says timidly down the phone,
"We'll replace it, never mind."

Copyright January 31st 2007 Robert Cartwright-Davidson







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