Now I'm asking myself, did I ask for this
This doesn't seem right, is there something I missed
The weight is so heavy it gets hard to stand
A need around every corner, a bill on every hand
What I make in a month is gone in a day
And when it's all gone there is still something to pay
Then I remember asking God a long time ago
Make me thier sole provider, and he made it so
Why did I want that? Let me reflect
On a childhood supported by a welfare check
Missing out on so many things, being treated like trash
And watching people lock thier car doors as I walk pass
We had no real freedom because all we could do
Is only what there was enough money to do
Which by the time the rent was paid and the bills were met
A little food money was all that was left
So I decided, not for them, they deserve better than that
So I took up the weight of the world that was on thier back
But I didn't know, and never would have guessed
That life would present me with so many test
I'm in this tunnel, and I see the light
But it's not within my grasp, only in my sight
I take many steps, but I don't seem to move
It's like an open wound that no ointment can soothe
How it hurts so badly as I think of my son
Who wants a new scooter, but I can't buy him one
To my girls,"let me get these bills down" I tell them all
"After that we will go to the mall"
But the bill never fall, in fact they are on the rise
Sometimes it hurts so bad I can't even look in their eyes
But don't cry for me, because at least I can say
That I gave them my all until my dying day
So I work longer hours, because I'm not going to lie
And my family will have their piece of that American pie
Even if I have to work until my knuckles bleed
My babies will get every thing that they need
Through it gets hard sometimes, and I don't feel appreciated
I've got to keep on providing until all of them have made it
I asked for this, and now I see, it will take all the man in me
And all the man I have yet to be
As I go I learn, my vision gets wider
Money isn't all they need from their provider
I have to bring more to the table than just a pay check
Money can't but your childs respect
Some stability for momma, some understanding for the teens
And some tough love for the boys, if you know what I mean
Everything I say and do is like a provision
Every action and reaction, and every decision
Not only for them, but all who see us
And any families out there that want to be us
It's like the weight of the world, and it doesn't get any lighter
But this is the cost of being their sole provider
