I have walked with you this stony road for so long, learning...but always yearning.
“When is enough enough”… I cry to you my master?
Have I not crossed hill and vale, deep waters near and far at your behest?
Have I not yet learnt what you desire I must learn?
I did not choose this road I walk, It was chosen for me and controlled by you.
My wishes were only a wife and child.A warm hearth to warm my body and heat the food that I would share with my loved ones.
But you lay the devil at my feet and God in my arms and told me to go forth into the world.
You left me no choice…only the promise of one.
You led me where I refused to go and I paid for the privilege…Degradation, poverty, loneliness…
And now here I am again asking the same questions...
When will you be done with me and let me rest?
When will I have the peace and happiness that my life has searched for while fulfilling your desires?
I was born into this world just a naked child.
Bright, and strong to face all that the world would offer.
I grew and began to understand my world… it was a cold world that scared me everyday. Never was there an answer to the questions I asked…but always the promise of one. So every scary lonely night held great promise of the happiness the new morrow may bring… but never did.
I fought long and hard to be good, but already you had entered my so very young life and defined what would be thought of me …taught of me.
I cried for help so very often, knowing what was to become of me… but you had told everyone, who I am.
So I was born once again, this time I was not innocent and free as a baby should be, but cast out.
Cast out from all that I had ever desired… my family my security… my hope for ever finding happiness.
Cast out into a world that did not, could not and would not take care of my precious growing mind.
There was always the promise of “the morrow”… but that is all it ever was… a promise. …
Whatever the new day would bring to my tired eyes would already be tainted by what I had seen before sleep took me.
I wanted always just to rest my head and feel at home.
You then decided I would forsake wife, child and a warm hearth and led me so very far away from all I ever wanted.
You have tempted me with great wealth that would secure all of my earthly desires, but I told you I could not be bought.
I was also offered the rarest of beauty that could capture any mans heart, only so that my own heart could be easily torn from my flesh.
The beauty of nature in all her glorious splendour I have witnessed in awe and wonder…only to be left asking the same questions... “When will you let me be me for all I truly am”?
When will you leave me fate… to walk my own path…?
And know what the morrow will bring.