Absent Minded
Not good enough to be a man
I smoke
I drink
I don't have a job
I rebel against the way society is
and with my parents i hardly talk
i don't eat right
i sleep away the day
i have done things i don't like admitting
but see the method to the madness
of the spiritual reasons
and know its not fair being caught in the middle and earn another scar
forever i say
I have low self esteem
and cant get myself to exercise
i hardly eat and when i do its not healthy
and my friends all tell me lies
i cant get out of my rut alone
and the professionals i talk to
whom i employ
just beat around the bush
saying whats the rush?
I wanna do something with my life
i wanted to be someone
but i know
in comparison to the competition of whoa and what I'm competing with\
I'm nothing
I'm no man
I'm a small boy drinking away his fears
covering himself every night in tears
wishing the world would disappear
and it never does
and I'm stuck here
Suicidal thoughts
and daydreams i don't know how to achieve
and jealousy i have to be better looking
but you cant fix my face
and even if someone fell in love with me
it would fall apart
for i am no man
a nothing
a no one
cant keep anything together
so while you all live happily ever after
and write your love song in the chapters of god
I'll be here alone realizing
I'm nothing
I'm no one
I'm not a m,an
but a Little boy
telling himself hes nothing
till he stands up
but i don't know how to break those chains
and those chains are strong
I see you and look at me in the mirror
and all i see is my life
liars and lie and friends in disguises and shame and fires
and no compromise and no second chances
and all the times at failed romances i never had
and the jobs i got fired from
and my broken home and scar tissue bump on my forehead
and verbal beatings
I am nothing
i am no man
I'm not good enough
i cant hold down a job if i tried
i get to stressed
start talking to the ghosts that are there
asking people questions about their lives
I am no man
all i can do is sit at home
and reach out to a world that ignores me still
a world that knows I'm a little boy
its not done abusing
so what am i to do
i cant compare to the real men out there
and if you ever fell in love with me
how are you going to fix me?
my wings are more broken then anything
ill never fly like you
just battle jealousy
I'm no man
I'm not good enough
and I guess i need to start accepting the cold hard facts
of what its all about to have a mental illness
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Not good enough to be a man
Not good enough to be a man